a tale of 2 nations
by nefertani
Summary: england wnts to repair his broken bond's w/ america so he shows up at his door w/ a bouque of flowers how will america reacet us/uk i suck at summarys better thn it sounds r&r
1. Chapter 1

**IT'S A TRAP!**

Okay, first thing's first: what in the name of France's crotch-rose were you _thinking _when you clicked on this fanfiction? The summary was absolute crap, the title is even worse, and the grammar- don't even START on the grammar! If you clicked here to troll, then- and I say this with all due respect and sincerity- you need to get a life, a hobby, or a decent fanfiction to troll. If you followed the link out of morbid curiosity to have a lulz-fest, don't feel too bad- everybody does the same once in a while. How do you think _My Immortal _became so popular? If you came here because you really, truly believed me when I said the story was better than the summary, then you, my friend, are obviously new to the world of fanfiction. Welcome aboard!

If you haven't already guessed it, this is a guide to help you become a better reader (and writer!) on fanfiction(dot)net. Hundreds of folks just like you (yes you, in front of the computer with the dull, glazed eyes of an internet junkie) have written fabulous, moving, exquisite stories, so why can't you? (That was a rhetorical question, I don't give a shit about your writer's block of whatever's _really_ keeping you from writing.) As we go through these chapters, we'll go through different genres, ratings (yes, folks, that means lemons. Don't get too excited yet, we still have a few chapters to go.) and even writing styles. But first, we'll go over how to read a fanfiction. That includes summaries, just so you won't make the mistake which brought you here again. So, without further ado, onwards!

HOW TO READ A FANFICTION

Section One: Summaries

Okay, so you're scrolling through fanfiction(dot)net, when you suddenly get a craving for USUK (just an example, bear with me if you don't like this pairing), a nice T-rated high school AU fic with some angst (again, just an example). You set the filter to what you want and click go. Two stories come up, looking something like this:

Story 1 summary: Arthur is an exchange student from London with a bad break-up still haunting him. Alfred is a happy-go-lucky football star without a care in the world. What will happen when their paths collide? R&R Please!

Story 2 summary: alfred i don't think we can be together anymore alfred gasped i suck at summaries better than it sound r&r plz!

Which one are you more likely to choose? If you guessed #1, ding! Your answer is correct! How did you even get to this page anyway? If you guessed #2, then you really _do_ need this lesson.

First off: Never trust a fanfiction with horrendous grammar. Even if you don't mind wading through "your welcome"s and "alfreds sock"s, if you read stuff like this enough, it _will_ cause some damage to your brain. Trust the girl who's read most of the fanfictions listed on Encyclopedia Dramatica. Second: If it says it's better than it sounds, don't trust it. This could just be me spouting nonsense like a smokestack, but that method has always worked for me in the past. I am now bored with the summaries. Onto the good stuff: the stories!

Section Two: Stories

One thing I've learned during my many years of reading is this: SLOW DOWN. I'm a compulsive speed-reader, and trust me, it's not good for appreciating good writing. You'll end up reading reviews that mention a particular joke or plot detail and think to yourself, "Whoa, when did that happen?" Pay attention and you won't get lost.

Another thing is to watch for grammar. I once read a very good multi-chapter fanfic with mediocre grammar and Odd capitalization, Sometimes in The middle of a Sentence. I tried to ignore it, but no such luck. It had really good potential, but sorry, no dice.

That's really all I can think of for this chapter, so bye for now. Our next topic will introduce you to the terrifying world of writing your own stories, starting with plot development. Class dismissed!


	2. Chapter 2 is way too short

Hello thar! Sorry I took so long to update, real life (read: obscene amounts of homework) took top priority for a while. BUT ANYWAY! You don't want to hear about that, you want:

Chapter Two: So you want to write a story

First off, plot. If it has no plot, it won't be interesting. End of story. Your plot has to be intriguing and original, or at least as intriguing and original as you can come up with. And this might be just me, but I for one am **sick and tired **of "Country X Receives and Answers Letters." Enough! It's been done to death by way too many writers. If you want to write something mainstream and easy to write, go ahead, but be warned: with this genre, it has to be really, really, really good for it to stand out. Readers want to be pulled into the plot, and they want to be concerned about what happens to the characters.

Speaking of characters, a little out-of-character-ness is fine once in a while, but if you portray Latvia as a horrible child molester with Sealand as his poor, unsuspecting victim, your readers will laugh and probably flame and/or troll you. Be as accurate as you can with the characters, and you'll get good feedback. Don't get me wrong, I love alternate character interpretation as much as the next reader, but don't make them _too_ out there.

Next up, and you'll probably want to punch the computer screen for this one, is grammar. I know, I know, we're in the age of the internet and most people don't give two shits about whether it's your or you're, but still. Horrible grammar is instant reader repellent. This includes, but is not limited to:

Spacing: Properly formatted paragraphs have become an endangered species here lately. Don't let them die out!

Spelling: You know those little red lines that appear under some of your words? They're not just there for their health. Pay attention to SpellCheck: it exists to serve you. Proper spelling also means using the right words. Collage and college look very similar, and it might not be too obvious at the moment, but readers _will _be confused when the characters start attending pieces of artwork made of various objects and images.

Also, punctuation is very important. You"ll start getting sentences. like this; It's very annoying isn"t it. This means dialogue, too. If it starts with ", it has to end with " too, but only when the spoken part ends. Examples:

GOOD: "The author is annoying the ever-loving crap out of me," said the girl in front of the computer screen.

BAD: "I wish she'd just get to the chapter on lemons, replied her friend." Or: It isn't too much fun reading her drone about grammar," she continued.

Okay, I'll stop with the grammar now.

Another thing about stories: **They have to make sense.** If there's no consistency, readers will get confused. If a character is in the kitchen one minute and in the middle of the street the next, with no line breaks to show that some time has passed, readers will be left in the dust.

I'm typing this on a school computer and Study Hall is over soon, so I'll leave it at that for now. See you soon!


	3. Chapter 3 is mostly pointless

Sorry it took so long to update, guys! SO, I have been informed by a kindhearted soul by the name of methodtothismadness that (oh no!) stories like this technically aren't allowed on this site. So, I will now treat you to a preview of a USUK high school AU story I've been working on. Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Arthur Kirkland hated Alfred Jones. That much was obvious. He had hated him from the first moment, on the first day of 6th grade, when Alfred had leaned back in his desk and asked, "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"<p>

"Huh?" a flustered Arthur had replied.

"'Cause your face sure is messed up." These words, accompanied by a debonaire wink, were the first words Alfred had spoken to him.

Much like his words at the time, Alfred had swept into Arthur's life like a tidal wave, leaving him breathless and more than a little pissed off. Almost four years later, little had changed but their ages. Alfred was still the single most annoying brat Arthur ever had the misfortune to meet, and Arthur still hated him, no matter what Francis had to say about the matter. Because Francis was lying. He was. He had to be.

Because otherwise, it would mean that Arthur had fallen for the one person he hated more than anything else in the world.

Shit.

* * *

><p>He was staring. He had a perfectly good reason for doing so, but right now he couldn't remember what it was. So. He was staring. Across the science classroom. At Alfred F. Jones. In fascination.<p>

…yeah, he had no excuse.

Arthur sat at his desk, chin tucked into his palm. The object of his idle stare (and it really was only that), Alfred, was paying attention to the teacher. For once. From time to time, he'd push up his glasses or lean and whisper something to his friend Gilbert, revealing his gorgeous neck-

There was nothing wrong with admiring someone's physique, nothing at all. It didn't mean that he…_liked _Alfred. Their Social Studies teacher had a nice neck too, and that didn't mean anything. Other than Neck Envy. Maybe.

If staring at his neck meant Neck Envy, then Ass Envy would be a valid excuse too.

Yeah.

* * *

><p>That's all for now, folks. BUT! Before I go, some shameless self-advertisement! My newest story, <em><span>moments<span>_, doesn't have any reviews yet. It'd be really, really awesome of you guys if you nipped over there and dropped me some feedback. Thanks!


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